Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
