we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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