Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
