Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
