is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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