why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
