I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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