spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
