Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
as a side note pls kill me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
