Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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