I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
