In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
