I'm drive I can fine osifer
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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