You really coming over, don't trick.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
