I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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