People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
