So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
