Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
