Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
