Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
