physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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