In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
