Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
