it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
