I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
