The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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