Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
