it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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