Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
then he tried to convert me to islam
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
