Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
