Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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