I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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