So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
