but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
