And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
