Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what day is it and did you see me today?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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