dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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