fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
