I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
