Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
