yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
