i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
