i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
