Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
organizing the empties. That sober.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
