Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
