brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
