Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
