He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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