I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
