yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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