Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
